Sunday, September 6, 2009

No Fear

I grew up in the 90's when the mantra (and clothing line) no fear was extremely popular. But in life I honestly believe that everyone has a fear of something. I have a lot more than one. Some of my fears may be silly and others keep me up at night but to me fear in unavoidable.
I read a lot of blogs and I was wondering today why that is. I think that it stems from my fear of being friends with others and then disappointing them and letting them down. Reading blogs is safe for me. I do not know any of the people and yet I am reading about what they are doing, how far they are running, how their personal relationship with the Lord is being expanded and I am sooooo jealous. I want that but am I willing to take the first step?
In church today the message was entitled,
"How to Change Your Life?"
{do you think he is trying to get my attention?}
The pastor said that there are 3 things that God uses to transform me...the bible, the holy spirit, and circumstances. This really got me thinking about circumstances that God places in my life that I just walk right by because I am scared to do anything about it. He compared the christian walk to running often, which definitely made me think of both in my life. In running the ultimate goal is the race, the finishing of that particular run. In our Christian walk the ultimate goal is to be like Christ-IN ALL THAT WE DO. This means everything people. In eating, talking to others, my quiet time, I NEED TO BE LIKE CHRIST and that makes me ashamed. It makes me ashamed that I fail and have fear but I also know that HE loves me and accepts me with all my failures and wants me to try again. Not tomorrow but right now.
There are 3 choices to make (says the preacher) in my role in transforming my life.
#1 I can choose what I think about. {this one hit me very hard}. For a long time I allowed what I looked like, weighed, to consume my thoughts. I thought about how I wasn't worth the time to make changes in my life. The pastors advice was simple yet so profound for me this morning. He said to "Choose to think differently!"
Now why hadn't I ever thought of that before. Oh yeah, because I was so consumed by thinking of all those other silly, crazy things. So right now I choose to think differently. I choose to try to think of the things that will help me point to HIM. I can use my talents (whatever they are) to be more like Christ. I am still me but thinking like HIM.
#2 I can choose to depend on God's spirit moment by moment.
ok, i have been already trying this one this last week. If I know one thing it is that I can't do things on my own anymore. I have to rely that God is holding me moment by moment through my day and he isn't going to drop me even when I struggle against him.
This is where relationships came into play. God has placed people in my life and I have always taken them for granted. If you get too close to others they can hurt you, let you down, so I usually avoided relationships with others. BIG MISTAKE JAMA!!!
This last week, I started running with T (i know you read so I won't type your name :0)). I have never ran with anyone before. I always would just plug away by myself. I made plans to run with her and we met up at 8 p.m. (what can I say, we both have kids and they had to be in bed first). WE started our run and when we were done I felt good. Not only because of my run, but because I had someone who did it with me. Someone who was going through the same thing that I was. I had more fun that night running that in the months that I have ran by myself plus we ran farther than we thought because we talked the whole time (which is always a plus). I need these women in my life. Having Dave is a constant but he can not understand a lot of what I am going through as another mother can. Thanks T, can't wait for our next run :)
#3 I can choose my response to circumstances.
over-reacting, high drama, -do I think that is what Christ would do? NO! But one thing I do know is that God puts me in circumstances to where I need to depend on him. I need to rely on him and just plain trust. SO...I will trust that I am where he wants me to be, with whom he wants me to be and ....I CHOOSE TO FOLLOW WHERE HE IS GUIDING ME-

So, no light and fluffy post today, mainly because I am thinking a lot about my direction. Where I am headed, what I want to do, and how my life can be more of what the Lord wants it to be that what I want it to be.

On a lighter note (haha)
Since August 1st I have ran 78 miles- WOW!!!! Every mile I run though means nothing if I can not run the race that the Lord has set aside for me.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." I Corinthians 9:24

Happy Running

1 comment:

  1. Great post Jama. I needed to hear those things as well! I loved running with you and love being your friend! Looking forward to "running the race" with you!